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A lot of people aren’t even reaching their highest potential due to the limitations of their mindset. You see, you hear all these people reaching these crazy standards such as David Goggins, known as the toughest man alive, being able to run on broken feet, survive one of the toughest Navy Seal trainings THREE times, and inspire millions with his F-ed up childhood.
Or someone like Wim Hof, known as the Iceman, who is able to submerge his body in water below zero degree temperature, as well as being able to walk a marathon barefooted on ice and snow.
You’re probably wondering, “How the heck do these people managed to do something like that?”
Well, let me tell you something.
It’s based on how resilience your mind is.
In this post, I’m going to tell you tip on how to build a resilient mindset, so that, you too, can reach your fullest potential.
I’ve talked about failures in another blog post of mine and I’m going to keep saying this over and over again because it’s important for you to understand this concept.
Related Post: Learn How To Become Bulletproof To Your Failures
Love your failures and your pain.
This is basically like the term “turn pain into pleasure”.
It sounds uncomfortable, but the thing is, in order for you to build resilience, you have to keep putting yourself in uncomfortable situations.
See, the thing is, people run away from failure. We get taught by society, our parents, friends, guardians, whoever in your case, that failure is a bad thing. And how do you think the most successful people got to where they are now?
They got over their failures and went through a lot of pain to get to where they are.
The hard truth is this: you’re never going to get anywhere if you avoid failing. Even if you go after something and it doesn’t work out, I want you to look at it as a benefit because this failure and pain you are feeling is building up mental resilience.
This is an obstacle that you have to put yourself through in order to become stronger and better than you were before.
It is where true mental growth is going to come from.
I had recently read a book called Existential Kink, where it talks about loving pain by basically transmuting the pain into pleasure using sexual energy.
I know it’s going to be a hit and miss for people because this book talks about sexuality (and not everyone is going to vibe with it), but it’s a great book that I felt I can take and apply to any failures I run into. I’m going to recommend the book anyways because I like to share anything that I learned and I read this book like, three times.
A smart, sexy guide to embracing the repressed, tabooed, and often unwanted aspects of ourselves so we can discover our inner power and finally live the life we deserve.
“We always get exactly what we want; but often, though we may not be aware of it, what we most want is dark - very dark.”
Each of us has a dual nature: we are light (conscious) and dark (unconscious). The dark side of our personality - the “other”, the shadow side - is made up of what we think is our primitive, primal, negative impulses - our “existential kink.” Our existential kink also drives the dark or negative repeating patterns in our life: always choosing the abusive partner or boss, settling for less, thinking that we’re undeserving, not worthy. But it also is the source of our greatest power.
In Existential Kink, Carolyn Elliot, PhD, offers a truth-telling guide for bringing our shadow into the light. Inviting us to make conscious the unconscious, Elliot asks us to own the subconscious pleasure we get from the stuck, painful patterns of our existence.
Existential Kink provides practical advice and meditations so we truly see our shadow side’s “guilty pleasures”, love and accept them, and integrate them into our whole being. By doing so, Elliot shows, we bring to life the raw, hot, glorious power we all have to get what we really want in our lives.
You need to be around people who can help keep you accountable.
Not the friend who tries to convince you to go out and party your night away versus studying and working out, not the family member who gives crap advice on something they don’t know sh*t about, or the freaking jealous coworker who wants to sabotage your big dreams.
Surround yourself with the right people. Even if you can’t seem to find people who have a strong, resilient mindset, social media is a great way to connect with people who implement mental resilience.
Like I mentioned with David Goggins and Wim Hof, they have social medias you can easily follow them for inspiration. That is what these types of people are here for.
We are here to inspire you and to show you what you are capable of.
There are a large group of people who are what you want to be. There is no excuse of not being able to surround yourself with like-minded people who cultivate this type of mindset.
Another great way to build strong resilient mindset: get used to p*ssing people off.
A lot of us end up limiting our abilities and our talents because we are afraid of what people will think. I’ve talked about this in another blog post where we do this because we want to feel comfortable and safe.
Back in the day, our ancestors had to fight to survive and they had a better chance of surviving when they were in packs, not alone. So, although it’s a natural instinct that we want to people-please and prove people of our worth, if you want to be more resilient, get really comfortable with p*ssing people off.
Honestly, that’s a really quick way to build up resilience, especially when you’re doing things that others don’t have the balls to do themselves!
I’m going to tell you this right now: everyone is going to have an opinion.
There are plenty of books out there on the mindset that even I have a blog post recommending some of my favorite ones and talk about what I’ve learned from them.
Related Post: Personal Development Books To Empower Your Life
When you learn more about how the mindset works, you realize that you are actually much more capable of doing things than you realize. You might realize more about yourself, why you are the way you are, why are others the way they are, and work through the limiting beliefs that may be holding you back from creating a more resilient mindset.
Once you get educated on how the mind works, you will have the knowledge to create a stronger, resilient mindset.
Yes, you’re going to have to face your fears at some point.
Think of it this way: if you keep avoiding the big boss in a video game, you’re never going to level up your character.
Find every opportunity to expose yourself to your fears.
And trust me, I sound very confident through my blogs, but I still have fears that I face in what I am doing; however, I continue to expose myself to these fears until I basically become numb to it.
For example, I have had many issues when it comes to public speaking.
You know, a common one that I’m sure many of us have.
What makes it more challenging for me is that, I grew up with speech problems as a child and I had to go through speech therapy throughout elementary school.
You know how I had to expose myself to this fear?
I got myself a mic and created a podcast where I talk about anything that inspires me, that I learned, or sometimes, I made these blog posts into podcast form (with a little bit of a spin here and there with examples and stories).
Was it freaking scary? Of course!
But I kept showing up for myself. I didn’t want to let myself down. I don’t give a sh*t about the people who want to make comments, I do this for myself, even if no one is watching or listening to me.
Because the worse feeling for me, is that I’m the one that’s going to know about it. I’m going to be the one that knows that I have this fear and that if I chose to not face it, it was going to eat at me for the rest of my life.
Don’t be someone who let’s your fears get in the way of your uplevel in life.
Expose yourself to that sh*t and build that mental resilience.
I want you to think about the things that you want to accomplish that is going to require you to be more resilient.
Now, look at it from your inner child’s perspective.
I want to ask you this: would you talk to your younger self like that?
I think we forget that we were all once children too. As children, we all had to fail at something to get better at it, whether it was riding a bike, falling down and getting back up, losing a game and working on getting better, the list goes on.
It’s interesting because children start off with a lot of resilience already, even to the point where they completely forget about what happen within the last few hours.
Yet, as we grew older, we let things get to us.
Related Post: How To Heal The Inner Child (+ Journal Prompts!)
We let life get to us, bring us down, destroy our mindset, and somehow, we become less resilient to our mindset, emotions, and growth.
Isn’t that interesting that children have more resilience than their parents?
So, the next time you try something and it fails, ask yourself what would you say if your younger self was in your position at that very moment? You would encourage them, nurture them, love them, and tell them it’s going to be okay.
Do that for yourself because in that inner child’s perspective, that is you.
In what areas of your life, do you want to build resilience in? Share your story in the comment section below!
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