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Ever wondered how to successfully navigate toxic people in your life?
I know we all do!
Whenever I’ve dealt with toxic people in my life, friends, families, coworkers, whomever it may be, I try to look at them from a different perspective.
If we learned the psychological reason why people do the things they do, we just might have little bit more compassion for them. Now, don’t get me wrong, you should absolutely cut toxic people out.
No doubt about it.
But what I want to teach you from my own experiences, plus the subconscious reasons behind toxic people, is to handle them in a way where the things they do or say won’t affect you as much. The less they get to you, the happier you can live your life.
So, here are the six best ways to handle toxic people in your life
We all have our own belief systems. Some just choose to project theirs onto others.
This never has anything to do with you, which is why you shouldn’t take people’s comments so seriously. It’s been scientifically proven through Joe Dispenza’s work that from the moment we were born to the age of seven, our belief systems are shaped around the environment we grow up in.
Now, some people choose to change their belief system, first, through awareness and then, assistance (therapy, hypnosis, meditation, books, etc.). Some toxic people, however, don’t usually gain the awareness to realize that they have the power to change their belief systems.
You can probably see this in your own parents. You’ve probably heard stories about their childhood and then realize why they are the way they are, both good and bad.
Not many people want to change limiting beliefs. Some have been programmed to stick firm in how they were raised because that’s just all they know and some people just grew up with a fixed mindset.
It’s never really something you are doing. In fact, if the people in your life are reactive to whom you are or what you are doing, chances are, there’s something inside of them on a subconscious level that wants the same things as you do.
These are generally signs for them to go after the same things you are triggering inside of them, but a lot of people don’t realize this and get frustrated about these emotions instead of observing them.
Look at it this way, as long as you aren’t doing any harm to them (besides maybe bruising their ego), you can pretty much say you’re doing them a huge favor by inspiring them to be who they were meant to be.
You may know this more if you are on a spiritual journey, where we all have the ability to transmute energy from people (aka: alchemize that sh*t).
Whenever someone wants to try to throw shade at you, whether that’s your looks or your passions or even just small comments here and there, I want you to take what they throw at you and turn it around.
Let’s say someone makes fun of you for trying to do a job that is out of the norm and not your typical 9-5 job.
Maybe there’s comments like, “Oh, that’s not a stable job.”
Or, “You can’t make money from that.”
Take comments like these and turn them around. For example, maybe tell yourself that you have more of a reason to go after your dreams because you want to show these types of people that they can do the same thing themselves.
Tell yourself that you have more of an obligation to be out of the norm because it gives these types of people permission to do the same and to stop living in the fear instilled into us from society.
If someone is making fun of how you look, turn those comments around and shine brighter than ever before. Show these types of people that it is okay to shine their light and to love themselves for who they are.
Alchemize that sh*t and turn people’s comments into something more loving and positive. When you do that, you end up minimizing the effect that these people’s words have on you. You transmute the low vibrational energy toxic people throw at you into a higher vibrational frequency that can be used to manifest your best life.
We need more leaders like this to show us that we are capable of truly living our life the way we want. It’s important for us to live our life as authentically as possible because doing so will create more happiness in our lives.
It’s obviously important to set boundaries when it comes to toxic people.
However, sometimes it can be hard when you aren’t sure how to go about it, especially if you deal with people who may gaslight you on your feelings or try to convince you that you are wrong on your viewpoints.
One of the things I’ve learned from therapy was when you confront people use a lot of I’s.
When you use a lot of I’s in conversation, you are doing two very important things: one, you are taking accountability for your own feelings and your own beliefs which is important when it comes to setting boundaries.
Two, you aren’t attacking the other person and invalidating them on their feelings because we all know that when we do that, there is bound to be conflict.
However, what you can do is change what you think. You can’t hope to change the other person.
Remember, they are rooted into their own belief system.
You can use you’s if it comes to validation on equal playing fields.
So examples using I’s and you’s can look like, “I’m not obligated to tell you everything about my life just as you have those same rights.”
“You are absolutely free to think whatever you want of me just as I have the freedom to think however I please.”
See? Equal playing fields.
Example’s of using I’s can look like, “I will do as I please because I live my life the way I want and no one can take that away from me.”
“I am worthy of living a good life without the drama and I will not be a part of this anymore.”
“I have no moral obligations because I go what my beliefs are.”
I hope these examples give you a better idea on how to go about expressing yourself with a toxic person.
Now, usually when you confront toxic people like this, they will react badly to it.
However, do remember that you most likely hit a nerve in them because you were able to navigate their toxicity in a way that they can’t have their way with you.
Be proud of yourself that you handled the situation in a mature and loving way. The rest is up to the toxic people on whether they want to continue their behavior or not.
Sometimes we can mistake whether the things someone says is positive or negative criticism.
So for example, someone who tries to tell you that you can’t go after your dreams is most likely giving out negative criticism.
On the other hand, someone who tries to give you valuable advice on how to go about it may be giving positive criticism.
A good way to know whether it is positive or negative criticism is to look at the person’s life and see if what you want in your life is something that they have in their life.
I have said this before, you wouldn’t take fitness advice from someone who is overweight and has health problems, right? So you’re going to have to determine whether the person telling you the criticism has good advice for you or not.
If they don’t have what you aspire to have in your life, disregard it as negative criticism and find someone who you aspire to be like.
Toxic people will have their egos bruised when nobody wants to hear what they have to say, especially if you point out that they don’t have what you want in your life. Don’t be surprised if they have a fit because you were telling the truth.
If someone has advice for how to go about your dreams, generally they are more encouraging about their criticism and don’t give you an attitude about it. These are the people you want to go to when it comes to constructive criticism.
After all, you become whom you surround yourself with!
We all have an Ego. It’s part of our human nature.
The Ego is basically our survival mechanism that tries to keep us safe and secure. It is what our ancestors had to use when it comes to survival. Obviously, they didn’t live as comfortable and easy of a life as we are right now.
Although the Ego isn’t a bad thing to have, we still tend to project it onto other people.
As long as you live through your Highest Self, which is the part of you that is truly who you are, you won’t be steered wrong.
Trust me on this as someone who is living proof. In fact, when you learn more about spirituality, you find out that absolutely anything is possible and success is truly your birthright.
Toxic people may never see things in your perspective because they are living purely off of survival, which can lead to a life of depression, dissatisfaction, and mediocrity.
And who wants to live a life like that? Cause I know I wouldn’t.
When you know how the Ego works, you can more easily disregard the toxic people in your life because you know that they are only living to survive.
Learn to realize that emotions do not equal facts about yourself.
Just because toxic people want to tell you that you are a certain way doesn’t mean that it’s true.
Now, if you get triggered by something they said, chances are, it’s either true or it’s an unhealed portion about yourself. It could also be that you need to have more trust with yourself because when you build enough trust with yourself, then you have a better idea of who you are as a person.
Triggers can actually show us the things about yourself that need healing and work so I wouldn’t disregard these feelings completely.
However, know that words are truly just words. If it weren’t for society putting a meaning behind words, the comments that toxic people make wouldn’t affect you.
Plus, look how our language has evolved over the years?
The emotions you feel when someone wants to tell you something aren’t always facts about yourself. Though you may need to build more confidence within yourself to realize what is true about you and what’s not. This is a whole self development journey that you will have to go on for yourself to find out who you are as a person.
And when you start doing this work, you realize that the things toxic people say are pretty silly. If you do have a lot of trust with yourself and you are around toxic people, chances are they are only projecting the unhealed portions within themselves.
It will never have anything to do with you. You just happen to be the closest punching bag they could find.
Just remember that their emotions are not a validation of who you are.
How do you navigate the toxic people in your life? Comment down below!
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