Let’s be real for a second….
I’m getting tired of some of these self love tips that are just surface level bullsh*t.
And trust that this is coming from someone who took a long time to love herself. I’m not saying all self love advice is pointless, but I’m someone that likes to get deep.
So yeah, your Sunday afternoon self care routine is cute and all. And yes, if that makes you practice self love, by all means keep doing it.
However, I’m going to give you real self love tips that will ACTUALLY help you learn to love yourself.
I think a lot of us tend to overlook the sh*t we’ve gone through in life and honestly, I feel like doing this is a disservice because you can use the difficulties that you have been through and use it as a superpower.
Honestly, I have learned to really be grateful for the sh*t I’ve been through because I know that if I can overcome the things I’ve been through, I can overcome anything.
And this is the mindset you should practice having in order to truly learn to love yourself.
So let me give you an example.
You might be a single mother who could have gone through a nasty divorce and now you have to find a way to support yourself and your kids. Instead of sitting in your sorrow and feeling bad for yourself, flip that mindset around and start to look at this as an obstacle that you have conquered.
You just had the balls to leave a toxic marriage that didn’t serve you and step up to the plate to be a badass mother for your children.
That sh*t is powerful. Own that sh*t.
Really empower that you are f*cking powerful and the self love for yourself will start to increase and make you truly love who you are as a person.
When you trust yourself so deeply, you will naturally find yourself loving who you are because you know you can pull through on the things you say you are going to do.
Just like you have to build trust in your relationships, you have to build trust within yourself, so if you have things to do, make sure to do them.
Whether that be reaching your goals, making a change in your life, or just simply being true to your authentic self, you’re going to have to stick with the things you tell yourself you are going to do.
Often times, people with a deep feeling of self love are great at making promises to themselves, so if you wouldn’t make empty promises with your peers, you shouldn’t make empty promises to yourself.
Do yourself the favor babes. Do it because you love yourself, not because you have to.
You hear the term, “what you put out, you get back”?
It’s true and if you don’t believe me, I’d like to ask if you’ve ever seen someone in your personal life, actually receive love back when they are being really nasty.
Have those types of people received love in return? Because I have definitely seen the opposite.
But what can I say? Karma’s a b*tch, but for good reasons.
I always feel like whenever I put good out into the world, great things happen for me. There is an actual universal law called the Law of Cause and Effect where what you put out, you get back.
So, if you want to bring more love towards yourself, learn to give out love and I mean true genuine love because you genuinely care.
Even if people try to say that they are doing it out of love, I promise you the Higher Power (if you believe in one or have a different name to your Higher Power), can read your true intentions.
There’s no slipping by with that fakeness.
You want to build love for yourself? Learn to love others as well.
People have this warped idea that we are being helpful if we put other people before ourselves, but if you truly love yourself, you would learn to put yourself first.
Now, this applies less to people who are parents since you have a responsibility to your child, but for the people who have less responsibilities, I encourage you to put yourself first.
You can’t pour from an empty cup.
And sometimes, people who put others before themselves often times get themselves into some nasty situations, whether that’d be abuse, victims of manipulation, just all sorts of sh*t.
Sometimes, people warp their personalities so much from others that they don’t realize who they even are anymore.
You are not going to be able to keep giving your energy out to others if you don’t take care of yourself. You can actually deplete yourself so much that you can harm yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually.
And then what’s going to happen?
You’re going to be no use to anyone in the end.
Another thought to think about (even though it sounds kind of dark, but it’s the truth), you have to realize that you only have yourself in the end. People die off. If you have kids, your kids will have a life of their own, you will eventually start to experience loneliness if they aren’t around as much as you’d like.
You can’t keep putting yourself off for other people because other people have their own lives to take care of and it won’t revolve around you as much as you’d like.
Therefore, learn to put yourself first. It’s not f*cking selfish. It’s called self-love.
I guess another way of doing this is words of affirmations, but I encourage you to empower yourself every chance you get.
So, if you are working towards something, tell yourself you are doing a great job. Give yourself a list of reasons why you are a bad*ss and keep telling yourself that whenever you need a confident boost.
Even if you fail at something, tell yourself you are proud of yourself for going after that thing.
Tell yourself you are hot as f*ck. I don’t care if you have to dress the part to feel it.
Literally empower yourself every chance you get and you will start to truly believe it. It takes consistency, but it will become so easy to you the more you do this.
I use this method even when someone wants to try to insult me and put me down. I love to transmute the energy that they are trying throwing at me and joke about it, but in a way, that’s complimenting myself and making me feel empowered.
It pisses the other people off, but I feel great at the end of it.
Doing this will become helpful when you really need a reminder that you are that b*tch and will help you stay in your power.
Start to empower yourself now and make this a habit going forward.
If you truly want to practice self-love, make sure to be your raw authentic self. Basically, be who you really want to be unapologetically.
In fact, I’ve heard from hospice nurses that one of the things people regret the most, is not being who they truly are.
I mean, come on, who really lays on their deathbed glad that they were who everyone else wanted them to be?
So, if you want to make sure you don’t pass on from this world with that regret, be who the f*ck you want to be.
Own who you are, be who you want to be, and if you don’t like who you are, then re-evaluate this thought and ask yourself: do you not like yourself because you aren’t reaching other people’s standards? Or do you not like yourself because you aren’t who you want to be?
True self love is embodying the true you.
Do yourself the favor babe, and love yourself for who you are.
How do you practice self love? Let me know your tips in the comment section below!
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