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So lately, I’ve been working on a passion project and decided to take a break from editing the project in the software I was using; however, when I exited out of the software (after saving it mind you), and came back to it, the file was lost.
I had literally lost the file on my computer. I had no idea where it went. I’m pretty sure I had saved it, but when I went to open the file, the file seemed to disappear into the abyss.
And you know what I did?
I took a deep breath and came back to it on a different day. I let go of the attachment that I had from this situation.
So, I want to talk about how to let go of attachments and practice detachment, whether that means towards an old friendship, an ex, a toxic family member, or even your manifestations because detachment is key to getting what we desire.
Let’s get into how to start letting go of your attachments to them (or to something).
I know this should be obvious but, people really have a hard time deciding what it is they want.
When you decide you want to let go of something or someone, you bring awareness to the idea of wanting to detach from whatever it is you want to separate yourself from.
You know, awareness is the key to making any kind of changes in your life and a lot of people don’t recognize that shining the light onto the that no longer serve us can actually help the attachment lose its grip on us.
Bringing aware to wanting to let go can also put you on the pathway for the universe to work its magic on you. What you want is what you get and so if you are trying to let go of something, the universe (or whatever Higher Power you believe it) can assist you with your needs.
Look back at where this attachment came from. When it comes to finding the root problem of an attachment, it’s going to involve us looking back into your childhood or at the very least, require you to look back at your past experiences.
Ask yourself questions like: why is it you are the way you are? Where did this fear of detachment come from? Did you lose something or someone in the past at an early age? Does it come from a sense of validation because someone tried to convince you that you were not enough or unworthy?
People get afraid of this step because it involves going back into times that are uncomfortable for us, but you have to think of attachment as a weed.
You can get rid of the weed with as many chemicals as you want, but if you don’t pull it out from the root, it’s going to keep coming back.
That’s why therapy or even just talking it out with someone is important because once you find the root of why it is you are the way you are, you are able to heal that area accordingly.
I know for me, I had a huge people pleasing problem for the longest time, however, I also had issues making long-lasting relationships in high school and the only way I was able to have a few long friendships was because I molded myself into my friend groups.
I was never really myself throughout high school.
And then of course this followed me to adulthood where I did the same thing and it really did more harm than good. It also created a problem within me of setting boundaries with people.
So, now I’m doing way better than I ever had before. I did a lot of healing work around that and inner child healing which I continue to do so to this day.
You can even think of it in terms of manifestation. Do you often attract the same type of people in relationships or situations in your life? Even after moving away or maybe even changing your job?
Chances are, whatever attachment is sitting in your limiting beliefs needs your attention and needs to be felt and healed through.
Otherwise, you will continuously find yourself in the same cycle all over again.
It’s funny because we have such this black and white thinking.
We just assume that we either have to go one way or another way when really, there is a silver lining in everything in life (at least I believe).
You have to look at it from a different perspective.
For example, let’s say you were in a relationship and you broke up. You were fine before the person came into your life, what makes you think you won’t be ok now?
Ask yourself, do you really believe that’s you won’t find another person to love?
Let say you lost your job. Do you really believe that’s the only way to get your dream job or your dream career?
Why do we think there’s only one way to look at something?
When we are manifesting something, do you really think the universe has one way of taking you to your destination? If that were the case, we would know exactly how we will get there. We would know all the bumps, the turns, and we would know every single step of the way.
But we don’t which is the beauty of manifestation.
You see? Nothing really has one perspective, even in life.
So, look at letting go of attachment in a different perspective next time and see if you can find that silver lining.
Happiness is a choice. We choose our happiness.
A lot of people believe that holding onto our attachment is what dictates our happiness when really, our happiness shouldn’t rely on our outer circumstances.
And you most certainly shouldn’t rely on other people to make you happy, otherwise, you put pressure onto these people with your high expectations. And in the end, you’ll going to find yourself pretty disappointed if they don’t live up to your expectations.
And I say this in a way when it comes to taking responsibility for yourselves and that includes our feelings, our responses, our triggers, and our emotions.
Remember, you are only in control of yourself. No one is in control of you and you aren’t in control of them. And then of course, some circumstances can also be out of our control.
So always keep in mind that when you make happiness a choice, you really never find yourself disappointed since you didn’t have expectations in the first place.
That’s how mindfulness figures like monks or even the Buddha find their inner peace. It’s like there was no attachment to anything in the first place.
The more we take responsibility for our happiness, the better our detachments towards our circumstances become.
What do you need to let go in your life? Share your thoughts in the comment section below!
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