As a Virgo sun, manifesting generator (if you know Human Design) working in the creative content field, I find myself struggling to overcome perfectionism SO many times. I thought, for the longest time, being a perfectionist was honorable because it meant that I could get the job done right.
And oh sh*t, was that a mistake I made!
When I was a perfectionist, I was SO hard on myself. It was like nothing was ever good enough for me, it did so much damage to my confidence and self-esteem, and it would take me FOREVER to get anything done.
Seriously. It was so bad that I remember always being like the last student to finish her project because I felt like it needed to be top tier perfect and up to the highest standards.
And I know so many other people who struggle with perfectionism can relate to these examples. When you’re a perfectionist, you really stop yourself from getting anything done in life and it’s such a fear-based mentality. And although standards are important and you should absolutely have high standards, you don’t want to go into the rabbit hole of perfectionism too much because then you’ll always expect yourself to reach those standards.
And how often do you have your A-game on?
I know you’re human and sh*t happens in life. You’re probably already going through so much in your own life right now that I assume being a perfectionist is the LAST thing on your mind.
So, in this blog post, I want to help give you tips on how to overcome perfectionism and what I’ve done to stop being a perfectionist.
If you are someone who works as a content creator or in a workplace where you are working on some sort of project, the most important tip that has helped me overcome perfectionism is to spread projects out through the week.
So yes, this means don’t do things at the last minute, but it also means that you are giving yourself MORE time and less stress to get everything done.
If that means doing an hour a day, so be it.
It that means just small parts of the project throughout the week, then do it.
I know for me, when I’m editing my podcast episode, The Inspired Podcast, (which you should totally check it out), I don’t edit the episodes all in one day because it will drive me up a wall and I will start to get into my own head about whether this podcast episode is good enough or not.
It already takes me a long time to edit a podcast episode, I don’t need to be sitting there on the same project for hours throughout the day because I’m just going to get to the point where I start nitpicking everything.
Then I wouldn’t get anything done.
I don’t know the psychology behind this, but for some reason, spreading your tasks out through the week makes it more bearable and less overwhelming.
Plus, I find that sometimes when you sleep on a project and work on it the next day, you aren’t as judgmental towards yourself as you would be if you worked on the same project for several hours.
So, don’t spread yourself thin all in one day.
I know this is SO hard to do, especially when you want something to be good and for everyone to like your stuff.
But coming from someone who has been ripped apart for my work, I have to be honest with you. If you get too attachment to what the outcome should be, you will find yourself disappointed if that outcome doesn’t reach your standards.
Therefore, I recommend to not think about what the outcome should be at all and just do it just because you love what you do and you enjoy the process of putting your work out there.
I can imagine this being a little more challenging if you are in a group setting or in a regular 9-5 job that requires you to do a good job, but if I had to imagine myself in a group setting, I would personally take everyone’s ideas into consideration and do the best I can on what it is we are working on.
That way if the outcome doesn’t work out, people aren’t pointing fingers at each other and accusing each other of not taking their ideas and all this nonsense about whether you should have listened to so and so or not.
This is a lesson that can be learned as a group and make the step forward into trying out new ways of doing things.
That’s the best I got for you in a group setting.
The reason why I think it’s important to be open to constructive criticism is because sometimes when our minds are on perfectionism mode, we miss out on the most important details of what we are working on and we need an outside perspective’s opinion to deconstruct our perfectionist’s mindset.
Because when you are a perfectionist, you are already micro-managing your work and you’re not seeing from an outsider’s perspective what they think about your work.
Now, mind you, it’s important to get criticism from people who can provide value to you and know what the f*ck they are talking about.
I said this before many times and I will die on that hill: if you want to become successful in something, find the people who have already done it before you.
So no, not your family or friends, unless they know you very, very well, then maaaaybe (but my answer would probably still be a f*ck no).
For example, when I was freelancing as a graphic designer, there would be these forums where you could post your work and get feedback from actual professionals who have been in the field for years.
And although it would be frustrating if my work wasn’t up-to-par (especially if it took me a long time to do), I found my work dramatically improving because I took the constructive feedback from actual professionals.
If I had went to a friend or a family member about my graphic design work, I would have probably gotten praised for it and it wouldn’t give me any room for improvement, which defeats the whole point of overcoming perfectionism.
Family and friends are automatically going to think your perfect the way you are because they love you, but it doesn’t actually encourage any personal growth and you’ll find yourself getting nowhere because you didn’t take your self-improvement seriously.
Point being, be open to constructive criticism, but don’t dwell on bullsh*t opinions that have no value to you or your growth.
Perfectionism was never a thing. It’s all a social construct in your imagination.
So, since you’re already imaging something that doesn’t exist, imagine how it feels to chase something that doesn’t exist?
It’s a waste of your time.
People will listen to what you have to say based off of who you are, how you perceive things, and how to represent your ideas. It’s solely based off of being your authentic self.
Why do you think there are so many influencers out there on social media?
It’s not like a lot of them have any sort of talent, people just like them for who they are. It’s really not that hard to fathom.
I’m sure you have people who like you for you, right?
It’s not like your friends were searching for the perfect friend for them. They just liked you for being you (I would assume if you have good friends in your life). You weren’t perfect in their eyes until they got to know you for you.
Same thing goes for when you are in a relationship. People don’t know if someone is perfect for them until AFTER they get to know someone.
So even in your personal life, there is no such thing as perfectionism and you will attract what is meant for you regardless of not being “perfect”.
When you focus on giving value, perfectionism has no place or reason behind giving value.
It’s what you are providing for the people that matters the most. No one gives a sh*t if it’s perfect just as long as the value you are giving helps them.
Here’s a story back in my graphic designing days again.
I remember doing this method called the “crystal ball method” that some successful freelancer posted (I can’t remember who he was, but remember reading about this method in his blog post), where instead of telling potential clients about degrees and all these companies you’ve worked for (which I had no degrees and I was a new graphic designer, so I never got to work with big companies), you should help paint a picture to the client on what kind of value you can provide for them (bonus points if you use the five senses to help them paint the picture).
And this method was the method that helped me stand out to clients and have them choose to work with me over working with a large, professional company.
So especially if you are a business owner, entrepreneur, or some higher up in a large company, focus on what kind of value you can give to your clients and customers.
Of course, do a great job, but don’t focus on looking like this perfect person who has done all these great things because I promise you, no one cares that much.
Maybe some, but most of them just care what kind of value you can give.
Plus, when you are focused on giving someone value, it feels more personal to the client and they’ll feel like you genuinely care about their vision and goals.
Last, but not least, a great way to overcome perfectionism is to do everything out of your heart’s intention because obviously, when we are doing everything from our heart space, we genuinely love and care about what we are doing.
Not much can go wrong when you do things from your heart.
It’s out of love, compassion, and care, so how can perfectionism get in the way when we are doing things out of love?
When you are doing things out of your heart’s intention, everyone around you reciprocates that energy you put out there.
Of course, not everyone will see that, but you will attract the people who do see it.
And remember, people operate from a different mindset and have a different perspective of the world, so if you are doing things from the heart and people want to judge you, ridicule you, or tell you that you are a “bad person”, just continue to have compassion for these people because they just see you as a threat to themselves.
Unfortunately, these types of people can only save themselves and it’s not your job to resonate with these types of behaviors.
So, shine from your heart space, baby!
Do you struggle with perfectionism? Are you a chronic perfectionist? Let me know if my tips helped you out in the comment section below!
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